More on the weight issue

I have to admit that tackling my weight problem had been very daunting.  The realization that I have got to this point is almost more difficult to deal with than the fact that I am where I am.  Maybe 200 lbs overweight.  I have always seen myself as overweight but never really seen myself for how overweight I have become.  Today, I struggle with exactly how bad it is for me at this weight.  I find the simple and important things to be nearly impossible.  I cant tie my shoes, I can't sleep without a machine, and I either pulled a muscle or got a cramp trying to scratch my foot.  Yeah, it is that embarrassingly bad.  I am almost a week into trying to change my lifestyle, and I am hopeful yet still ashamed.

The other day I was told by my personal physician that I am pre-diabetic.  I am dangerously close to being diabetic and thus I really have no more time to mess around.  I am trying to learn about good food choices, for both weight loss and blood sugar.  It isn't going to be fun at all, but I really have to do this.  After all the frustrations and fear that came with this week, I still struggle with good food choices.  So, in order to help myself remember why I am doing what I am doing, I am going to list some of the reasons I want to do this:

1.  I dont want to die.  I have 4 people who directly depend on me and a God who made me for a purpose.
2.  I would like to be able to tie my shoes without strain.  At my weight it is a very very tough thing to do and mighty embarrassing as well.
3.  I want to fit into seats.  Planes, sporting events, and heck just about any chair.
4.  I am sick of the embarrassment of breaking things.  In my life my weight has caused me to break a few chairs/seats and each time I am almost sick with embarrassment.
5.  Hygiene.  At my size, like tying a shoe, it is way harder to do.
6.  I want to play soccer and softball again.  I love them both and right now I just can't do it.  I would even love to ref or coach either, but that isn't happening at this weight.
7.  I have apnea and I would love to sleep without a machine to make sure I breathe ok.
8.  Clothing.  I want to have clothing last longer and fit better.
9.  I don't want to be diabetic or pre-diabetic.
10.  I teach my kids and students about making good choices and I want to be a good example of it. 

I could go on and on, but for now this is my list.  My long-term goal is ALL 10 of these.  Thank you all so much who have expressed their support and also to those who are praying for me in this area.  While I hate getting so personal, I think this is the best way to hold myself accountable.  

Special thanks to a friend (who is also a doctor) for taking the time out at a recent family event to talk to me.  I am truly blessed to have so many people supportive of me through this time, and you were a great reminder that God continues to put people in my life to help me when I am doing what He wants me to do.

Also, to all of you who have posted or talked to me with encouragement, I thank you all.  For God has brought each of you into my life to be help to me in so many ways.  As i have said many times, I am frustrated with myself but very hopeful as I move forward.  That hope comes from God and is reinforced by the people he puts in my life.

For those who read my blog for sports and such.  I do promise I will throw some in often.  Don't give up on it, it will be here.