Saying goodbye

Sometimes God has single messages to tell me and sometimes he goes with a series of messages.  Recently, I have been faced with a series of messages on goodbyes.  Some have been happy, some sad, and some mixed emotions.  Either way, God is trying to teach me a lot about being able to say goodbye.  See, for me goodbyes meant new beginnings and new beginnings meant change and change meant trepidation.  However, God is trying to help me learn not to get that far.  He wants me to able to have joy in change as well as joy in status quo.  Goodbyes come in so many forms and we all have to say goodbye much more often than we realize.

Recently, if you remember, I had to say goodbye to my old eating habits.  I have had to say goodbye to cookies, cakes, and just about anything with sugar.  My doctors told me I was either pre-diabetic or diabetic and that I needed to do something right away.  So, bye bye sugars and hello better eating habits.  This was a tougher goodbye than I thought.  I didn't realize how much poor eating was part of my lifestyle and how much comfort I found in food.  God has helped me though and I have lost 22.5 lbs and although I have more work and changes to make.... I feel like I have said goodbye the right way.

Meanwhile, our family has had to prepare to say goodbye to Lori's grandfather.  While we are unsure how long it will be, we are having to prepare for it.  My kids are at a tough age in that they understand death enough to be sad but they aren't old enough to have experience in dealing with it.  Ryan seems to be handling it well, Katie may not fully understand, but we had to talk with Alex last night as he was the one who got  very emotional about it.  I could go on for years about the psychology of children dealing with death, but I am really wanting to focus more on being introspective here.  I have found myself having a hard time with this goodbye.  Grandpa is Lori's grandfather and I always consider my in-laws as my own family.  The relationships are very different but emotionally, I care the same for them all.  He is going to be missed by a lot of people including a wife, 3 children (and their spouses), 8 grandchildren (and the 7 spouses), and many great grandchildren (I AM too lazy to count).  His illness and decline has been very tough for everyone involved.  He has always been a strong independent man and watching his decline has been tough.  Emotions have run high.  I honestly didn't think saying goodbye to him would be so tough for me, but it is.

In other goodbyes, I have said goodbye to my mom in a much less permanent way.  I dropped her off at the airport in Kansas City after a 20 day, or so, stay.  This goodbye was easier for me because she is planning to return soon.  I think it is obvious, but I will say it anyway.... the more permanent, the more emotional a goodbye is for me.  We miss having Aiya visit us, but it wont be long before she returns:)

I said goodbye this month to the 2010-2011 NBA and NHL seasons.  Both ended on a good note with the Bruins winning the Stanley Cup for the first time I can remember (I was only months old the last time) and the Heat losing.  Congrats to all involved on the Mavericks and Bruins for your success.

In May I said goodbye to many students.  This was tough for me as some of the students will not be returning.  The thing I enjoy most about working in schools is seeing kids grow up.  I look forward to see what is in store for these students.  The ones who wont be back will be missed next year.  I wish them all the best in the various things that await them in the future.  While our school isn't perfect, I am excited to see the direction it is going to move.  To me, it is still far and away the best education for my children.  So, goodbye to 2010-2011 school year is also hello to 2011-2012 school year.  Because I have difficulty with goodbyes, I am going to focus on the hello here and get excited for the new things on the horizon for my kids, our students, and His plan for it all! (Note: we are saying goodbye to some teachers as well, and I wish them ALL the best)

Today we spent some time saying goodbye to our next door neighbors.  In the short time they have lived next door, they have become an important part of our lives because my kids have always had other kids to play with almost anytime they wanted.  Even Lori and I have had the chance to spend a little time socializing with them.  I wish them a safe trip to California and my intense prayers that they sell their house quickly to some more great neighbors with kids!!!  Our neighbors are all really great right now, I just wish some of them would stick around!

Last week I said hello and goodbye to VBS.  VBS is a ton of fun for me.  I never had VBS when I was a kid, so I get to experience it as an adult where I can enjoy all the fun and really appreciate the learning aspect as well.  Thank you so much to all those involved in VBS planning... they are AMAZING and I had a blast.  Someone once told me VBS was geared towards the kids...... I'm not so sure!  I am very sad though to say goodbye again.  It is a very fun week!

I am hoping to say goodbye to the upswing in headaches.  My Cluster Headaches have been worse the last few days and I hope they settle back down to the much more manageable pattern they had been in.

Well, it looks like I am having a hard time saying goodbye to this blog entry.  I am very emotional these last few days for so many different reasons.  Change is everywhere and, if you know me, it means a massive uneasiness...... USUALLY.  Not this time folks, God is in control and He is going to help me get over it, grieve for the losses, and be joyfully ready for whatever is next!